Present

Go in to Globus.

Hi, I’m looking to buy a whiskey as a present for my friend’s 40th birthday party.

Certainly Sir, what kind of price range are you thinking of?

Like around 7,500 Francs.

Well I can recommend the Macallan here for 7,580 Francs.

Sorry, did I say around 7,500 Francs? I meant to say 50.

Dress Code

So the Swiss want to ban the burka.

While we are introducing a dress code, may I suggest the following additions to the bill?

1. All Swiss people to be banned from wearing lyra shorts. Seriously, it is not essential to wear them while doing all types of sports.

2. Men and women in the Swiss "partner look" should be removed to Siberia or Affoltern am Albis. (Same hardship).

3. Women who look like renegades from the set of Dynasty to be forcibly escorted to the nearest time machine.

I am collecting signatures now...